You're a Jerk! You're a Jerk! You're a Jerk!

                Here’s the thing, man. I’m offensive. I offend people every day. I’m like a car crashing into a van full of orphan babies. I constantly get that screwed up-I just stepped in dog crap and it kinda smells like pig vomit-face from people in reaction to the things I say and do. Most of the time, I don’t do it on purpose, that’s just me being me. I’ve always felt like that was my charm! I’ve always been the “crazy” guy. I’ve actually had that nickname “Crazy Jim” or Jim, you know, the crazy guy.

                So, here’s the moral dilemma. I want to be more socially acceptable. I really do. Where do you draw the line between being yourself and not being a jerk. For instance, I see a really fat chick. If I go walk up to her and say, “You’re fat!” that would be rude but honest. However, if I do not am I being dishonest? That’s an extreme example but think of me! Here I am sitting there with this joke that I just know is funny, at least to me. But I also know it is offensive. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Do I just let fly and let the chips fall or do I hold back? Am I still being myself? If I stifle my jokes whats next? My personality? My creativity? Or am I just so prideful that I want to keep my “crazy” reputation in exchange for being a douchebag?

                Sure, there are some things I could obviously cut back on. For instance, if I know that you’re going to be offended no matter what then I’ll probably lay it on pretty thick. I’ll probably go out of my way to offend you, especially if you don’t like me, or I don’t like you. These can go. I can stop torturing those poor girls with the 30-40 second hug and breathing on their neck just because it makes them squirm.

                Most of the time, I just want to flip the middle finger to the world and do whatever I want, but there is a fact that no matter how I hard I try, no matter how fast I run I can never get away from. I actually do have a heart. I actually do care what people think. Sure, I’ll tell you I don’t, but that’s my justification for doing whatever I want or letting someone not like me. I think God instilled me with this because he knew that the normal indicator that people have, you’re indicator of what is good and bad is broken. He knew that I would think it’s okay to pinch your mom’s butt and to tell a poop joke to your grandma. He knew that offending me was about as difficult as David Archuletta actually trying to like girls. So, while I do not have a good idea of what I think is okay, I have to think about what YOU find admissible.

                So, here’s what needs to happen. Something’s got to give. I’ll make this deal with the cosmos. I will do my best to be aware of people’s limits and I will respect them. I will not go out of my way to offend people. I will remain "myself” and try not to sacrifice who I am. I am going to try to get rid of the superfluous offense. For seven days. I’ll see if I like it.

Oh, and Slumdog Millionaire sucks.